The Bones

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🎵When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain ’cause you and I remain the same
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation
Baby, I know any storm we’re facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don’t fall when the bones are good🎵

The Bones, Maren Morris

As Valentine’s Day approaches, many of us look to romantic comedies or romance movies to set our expectations of what ideal relationships look like. Most of these movies ebb and flow with the fictional couple’s emotions and feelings. There often is a falling out and later a grand gesture from one person, resolving the movie’s conflict. It may leave viewers nudging their significant other as if to say, “Why don’t you do that?”

God, however, didn’t intend for our marriages to be as fickle as our feelings or as inconsistent and conditional as movies often portray relationships. To grow in your relationship, look at each of your foundations. Is your relationship only held up by the hopes that your feelings will remain the same? Feelings of desire, infatuation, attraction, irritation, being offended, being overlooked—these things matter. But when feelings are the foundation of your relationship, they have the power to rock your relationship. Don’t give them that power. Our feelings are simply not trustworthy enough for this responsibility. Society says, “Follow your heart,” but look at what the Bible says about our hearts.

Jeremiah 17:7-9
7 “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop producing fruit.
9 The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
and desperately wicked.
Who really knows how bad it is?

A tree with deep roots that are constantly watered by the nearby river will thrive even when trouble comes its way. When a marriage is based on mutual rooting in a relationship with Jesus, it is better prepared to withstand the storms that will inevitably come. Just as the river is for the tree, Jesus is the living water for our souls.

To use the metaphor from the song above, look at the bones in your relationship. Our actual bones are the foundation of our bodies—they support our bodies’ structures, protect our organs, and help us function in our daily activities. Our relationship with Jesus should be just as crucial in our lives—so much so that without it, we would collapse.

How have feelings interfered with the health of your relationships?

What steps can you take to give these feelings less power in your relationships?

Next Steps:
Talk to your significant other about what they consider to be their foundation. Consider joining a group together and working through the LivingItOut studies together.

If you are single, now is the best time to make Jesus your foundation; as North Point Community Church Pastor Andy Stanley says, “Are you the person that the person you are looking for is looking for?”

Dear Jesus, you are our living water. Don’t let us forget it. We get so blinded by our feelings, especially when it comes to our relationships. Help us to be rooted in you, not our feelings. Our feelings are fickle, but it’s important for our marriages not to be. Let our marriages grow stronger as we grow stronger in our faith in you. Amen.

This post was written by Ashlee Grosjean. Ashlee is a blogger at and a stay-at-home mom and wife. She loves writing for this team, and she hopes to help convey God’s message through this study.

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9 replies
  1. Julie Estep
    Julie Estep says:

    My feelings lie to me all the time. If I let them, my feelings would run a muck! I need to lean on God’s word for truth in any situation. As for me and my house, we serve the Lord! Thanks for the reminder today Ashlee!

  2. Kendra Grubinski
    Kendra Grubinski says:

    Oh – me too, Julie!

    Ashlee – such a great visual that passage from Jeremiah brings. Being rooted (in Jesus – the Living Water) is crucial when all the elements come at ya… and they do come.

  3. Payton
    Payton says:

    Ashlee, you’ve clearly and concisely put into words a lesson I thought I knew, but needed reminded of. Thank you. The world says “Follow your heart,” but as nice as that sounds in the movies, it’s not what the Bible really teaches.

    Found this verse during my morning devotional: “And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” (Colossians 2:6-7)

  4. Jane Macke
    Jane Macke says:

    Thank you for the very well written devotional today. Your analogy about the love saga movie was very accurate and contrasted well with the non-feeling type of solid foundation God desires for us -towards Him – that you wrote about.

    Additionally, as a long time herb gardener, I have often thought about and witnessed, the truly amazing example of how incredible roots and root systems are. They sometimes stretch and reach out so far to get what they need, it’s unbelievable. They know what they want and need and they go for it.
    That is precisely why certain types of clover are used to permeate and aerate the soil, they extend sometimes thirty feet into the ground.
    I have planted tiny lettuce seeds that develop mammoth root systems! That is just what they need to get the nutrition they require.
    Compare that with the kind of powerful God-seeking roots He endows us with, divinely engineered for our good and His glory. Praise the Lord for that!
    At CedarCreek, I absolutely delight in seeing the strong, deep and complex root systems TO GOD that have developed and are growing strong throughout the church, but especially right before my eyes at the Findlay Campus, for almost 5 1/2 years now. Beautiful.
    What a incredible blessing to see, and to rest assured that is happening throughout all the CC campuses!

    Thank you for writing about roots.

  5. Luke Shortridge
    Luke Shortridge says:

    So good! YES!! Our feelings are real but they are a poor foundation for any relationship, especially a marriage. Thank you, Ashlee! Well done!

  6. Hayden Pryka
    Hayden Pryka says:

    Great reminder to be rooted in Jesus and not our feelings. Feelings can be so easy for me to follow and allowing them to control my life. Loved the Jeremiah passage to illustrate this.

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