🎵When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain ’cause you and I remain the same
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation
Baby, I know any storm we’re facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don’t fall when the bones are good🎵
–The Bones, Maren Morris
As Valentine’s Day approaches, many of us look to romantic comedies or romance movies to set our expectations of what ideal relationships look like. Most of these movies ebb and flow with the fictional couple’s emotions and feelings. There often is a falling out and later a grand gesture from one person, resolving the movie’s conflict. It may leave viewers nudging their significant other as if to say, “Why don’t you do that?”
God, however, didn’t intend for our marriages to be as fickle as our feelings or as inconsistent and conditional as movies often portray relationships. To grow in your relationship, look at each of your foundations. Is your relationship only held up by the hopes that your feelings will remain the same? Feelings of desire, infatuation, attraction, irritation, being offended, being overlooked—these things matter. But when feelings are the foundation of your relationship, they have the power to rock your relationship. Don’t give them that power. Our feelings are simply not trustworthy enough for this responsibility. Society says, “Follow your heart,” but look at what the Bible says about our hearts.
7 “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop producing fruit.
9 The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
and desperately wicked.
Who really knows how bad it is?
A tree with deep roots that are constantly watered by the nearby river will thrive even when trouble comes its way. When a marriage is based on mutual rooting in a relationship with Jesus, it is better prepared to withstand the storms that will inevitably come. Just as the river is for the tree, Jesus is the living water for our souls.
To use the metaphor from the song above, look at the bones in your relationship. Our actual bones are the foundation of our bodies—they support our bodies’ structures, protect our organs, and help us function in our daily activities. Our relationship with Jesus should be just as crucial in our lives—so much so that without it, we would collapse.
How have feelings interfered with the health of your relationships?
What steps can you take to give these feelings less power in your relationships?
Talk to your significant other about what they consider to be their foundation. Consider joining a group together and working through the LivingItOut studies together.
If you are single, now is the best time to make Jesus your foundation; as North Point Community Church Pastor Andy Stanley says, “Are you the person that the person you are looking for is looking for?”
Dear Jesus, you are our living water. Don’t let us forget it. We get so blinded by our feelings, especially when it comes to our relationships. Help us to be rooted in you, not our feelings. Our feelings are fickle, but it’s important for our marriages not to be. Let our marriages grow stronger as we grow stronger in our faith in you. Amen.
This post was written by Ashlee Grosjean. Ashlee is a blogger at GratefulSheep.com and a stay-at-home mom and wife. She loves writing for this team, and she hopes to help convey God’s message through this study.
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