Words for You – I Said This, You Heard That.

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The series we are embarking on is so relevant—for everyone. I know of no one who is so proficient in the four temperaments (sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic, and melancholic), that stepping into this series would be a waste of their time. Understanding how we are hard-wired is foundational because different temperaments speak and hear entirely different languages.

The temperament we are born with sets our “tone” with others. The best place to start is to understand the strengths and weaknesses associated with our temperament—in my case, melancholic. It is clear to me now—unfortunately, too late to help with my past career—that it was never my intent to irritate my former boss with my language of perfection and order. Yet, that’s exactly what I did. My language was foreign to him. He spoke choleric not melancholic.

The theme verse for this series is Ephesians 4:20: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV, emphasis added).

Had I had the wherewithal to build my boss up according to his needs, not my own, it would undoubtedly have eliminated multiple bumps in our working relationship.

In spite of being aware of this “temperament” business for years, it is NOT looking as though I will graduate with an acceptable passing grade anytime soon. Frankly, I have not exerted the necessary time and energy to embrace the practicality of fully understanding my own language (melancholic), much less the languages of others. However, I can obviously see it would benefit me and others to do so.

Thankfully, it is not too late. The bottom line “Engaging their TEMPERAMENT results in RELATIONAL BETTERMENT” makes it clear that fully stepping into this series is a win-win for me—and for you.

Philippians 2:3-4
3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

Have you taken the temperament assessment? Are you willing to put in  the effort to improve every meaningful relationship? If not, why?

Next Steps:
Take the temperament assessment. Read the assessment results thoroughly to better understand your “language” and its accompanying strengths and weaknesses.

Check out the I Said This, You Heard That YouTube Channel for additional resources. If you’re a parent, don’t miss the section on Raising Great Kids which includes these videos: Parenting Your Yellow Child, Parenting Your Red Child, Parenting Your Blue Child, and Parenting Your Green Child

Dear God. Thank you for creating us unique and special. As I think about the snow outside, it reminds me that no two people are the same. Help me remember this when I communicate with those around me. Please give me the wisdom to choose the words that are not best for me but are best for those whom I am speaking with. Help me live out Philippians 2:3-4 by putting the interest of others before my interest. Thank you for the great example of what it looks like to put others first. I love you. In Jesus’ name, amen.

This post was written by Karen Peck. Karen retired in March 2018 from Lucas County Information Services. She has been married over forty years. Karen rejoices over God’s faithfulness and God’s patience in her life and in her marriage. Nothing matters more to Karen than her relationship with God and her entire family. Her immeasurable faith in Christ and His ability to restore the broken runs deep within.

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1 reply
  1. Luke Shortridge
    Luke Shortridge says:

    Great post today, Karen! Love the practical application of Philippians 2:3-4. You’re right…we tend to communicate towards our own needs instead of thinking of the needs of others in what we say! Great stuff!

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