Making Love – Better in Bed

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My husband and I will be married 33 years on September 17th. We deeply love and respect each other. We have private jokes that nobody else understands. We make each other laugh. We support each other. We know each other’s likes and dislikes. We hug each other several times a day, and we never leave the house without kissing the other goodbye. Recently, I had Covid and had to be quarantined. The hardest part was that we couldn’t hug each other for several days.

Paul gives some great marriage advice in Ephesians.

Ephesians 5:33
So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband.

My husband’s actions make me feel deeply loved and cherished. I respect him so much and try to show him daily how much I love him. We are profoundly connected to each other. After all these years, we know each other better than we know anyone else. One of the things that makes our marriage so fulfilling is that we are equal partners. We make decisions together, and this makes both of us feel that we are valued by the other.

Last weekend, we kicked off our new series, Better in Bed, and Lead Pastor Ben Snyder explained, “Treating each other as equals doesn’t just give you a better marriage—it gives you a better sex life.”

Mutual love and respect lead married couples to feel a deep connection to each other. This connection is the difference between making love and just having sex. Anyone can have sex, but making love requires the couple to be extremely connected: physically, mentally, and spiritually. God gave married couples sex as a way to express their love for each other and to deepen their connection. He meant for us to be joined together, and to enjoy and treasure each other.

Matthew 19:5-6
5 And he said, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united as one. 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.

Questions:
What is the difference between sex and making love? How do you show your spouse or significant other love and respect? How important is it for husbands and wives to feel equal?

Next Steps:
Say three edifying things to your significant other every day for the next 7 days. Watch how they respond. Praise God daily for the blessings your significant others bring to your life. Hug your significant other daily.

Consider these resources:

  1. Opt in to the Text Campaign. We’re offering 3 weeks of fun content to help couples be better together. Text BETTER to 419-419-0707.
  2. Join a Group. This is the primary way we see people grow and take next steps. The app has the directory right at your fingertips to help you see the Groups available.
  3. Attend the February 2022 Marriage Event. We are opening up registration during this series. To begin registration, simply text “marriage” to 419.419.0707.

Prayer:
God, I am so grateful that you love us so much. You created us to live a life of intimacy with others. You knew the importance of us not living a solitary life. You have blessed me with many wonderful and loving people. I praise you for my amazing (spouse /future spouse/plan you have for my future)  and all the wonderful people you have put in my life. Help me to love others as you have loved me. Amen.

This post was written by Marsha Raymond. Marsha has been happily married to her husband, Jeff, for 30 years. They have two grown sassy and fearless daughters. She loves spending time with God, her family and friends, reading, riding bicycles, yoga and walking.

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If You Know, You Know! – Better in Bed

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Knowing God and understanding how he knows us leads to us being better in bed. For many, this probably seems like a strange thought. What does your sex life have to do with God and your relationship with him?

It starts with understanding the answer to this question: “How does God know us?”

Lead Pastor Ben Snyder shared this weekend that God knows us graciously. Grace is a gift. God shares his love and mercy with us even though we don’t deserve it. And because we can’t earn it, we can’t demand it. Instead, we must learn to receive his love and goodness as he graciously offers it to us. When we take a posture of receiving his grace, our relationship with him grows tremendously.

When we understand grace, we understand we don’t have to pretend to be something we are not. We can be ourselves. We can be ourselves at work, at home, with our friends, and with our spouse in the bedroom.

We don’t have to pretend to have it all together or to have it all figured out. We don’t have to hide our flaws and insecurities.

Being your authentic self is so important in your relationships because the real you cannot receive the love given to the person you pretend to be. When you learn to trust God and others with who you really are, the real you is open to receiving love.

I believe this is what leads us to Ben’s bottom line: “If you KNOW, you KNOW.” Knowing and understanding God’s grace makes you better in bed because grace is about receiving what you do not deserve—and it’s about giving what they do not deserve. It is about knowing each other deeply, and not having to be ashamed.

Sex is one of the ways we experience and participate in the grace of God. As we receive God’s grace in our lives, we can then offer it to our spouse and receive it from our spouse in every place in our lives, including in bed.

Romans 3:24
Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.

Romans 8:1-2      
1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.

Ephesians 2:8-9
8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.

Questions:
How am I growing in the area of knowing and trusting God?

How can my understanding of God’s love and grace make me better in bed?

How am I showing grace to my spouse in bed?

Next Steps:
Checkout these studies on Grace from RightNow Media.

  1. Two Roads – By Robby Angle of Trueface
  2. Amazing Grace – by Francis Chan

You can learn more about RightNowMedia here, and if you’re not subscribed, sign up for your free subscription today.

Prayer:
Dear God, thank you for your grace. Because of your unconditional love for me, I can begin to love others the way you love me. Help me to receive your grace and to share it with others in my life. And as I do, please bless my relationships and bring them to a place of authentic love and trust. In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen.

This post was written by Ben Bockert. Ben is a proud husband and father of three beautiful daughters. He is honored to serve as the Director of the LivingItOut Bible Study.

Check out the Latest LivingItOut Podcast

The LivingItOut Podcast is released every Wednesday morning. It discusses key takeaways and principles from the weekend message. Listen to the weekly podcast in your car, during your lunch break, or any other time that works for you. You can find the latest podcast here.

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We would love to hear how the LivingItOut is making a difference in your life. Let us know how today’s post inspired, challenged, or encouraged you by leaving a comment here.

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Printable version of this week’s LIO study:

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It’s Time to Yada! – Better in Bed

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When I came to know Jesus and what he did for me on the cross—even though I was a complete mess—I was astonished. Part two of that interchange was me realizing that I was not only created by God, but I’m also very intimately known by him. And that was not something I had to earn—it was freely given to me.

Not until that truth was deep in my heart was I able to understand the true meaning of a godly marriage and how to step into all God had for me and my husband. Stepping into 3-dimensional sex means stepping into a vulnerable place, where both husband and wife can rest in the fact that they are known and accepted by each other, just the way they are. Only then are they free to have the intimacy that God intended for their marriage. Lead Pastor Ben Snyder explained this, using a great example from Genesis.

Genesis 4:1 (ESV)
Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.”

Of all the words that could have been used, “knew” was chosen to describe sex. The Hebrew word is “yada,” and it was chosen because sex is more than physical. Yada means to know, to be known, and to be deeply respected. This week’s bottom line sums it up: Yada makes you better in bed.

If you are going to be better in bed … learn to yada one another. God wants this for you and your marriage.

Questions:
If you are married, do you feel known and respected by your spouse? If not, do you feel known by God?

If you’re single, based on this content, what are you looking for in a spouse? Who do you need to become to be ready for this person?

Next Steps:
If this talk has made you realize you and your spouse need help getting back to God’s design for sex, please consider these resources:

  1. Opt in to the Text Campaign. We’re offering 3 weeks of fun content to help couples be better together. Text BETTER to 419-419-0707.
  2. Join a Group. This is the primary way we see people grow and take next steps. The app has the directory right at your fingertips to help you see the Groups available.
  3. Attend the February 2022 Marriage Event. We are opening up registration during this series. To begin registration, simply text MARRIAGE to 419.419.0707.

If you are single, share with a trusted friend who loves Jesus what you are looking for in a spouse. Then pray together about being ready when he/she shows up in front of you. Also, consider joining a Group. A Group can help connect you with clothes who can support you on your journey.

Prayer:
Dear Lord, we are so sorry that the world has taken your beautiful gift of sex and made it into something far, far from what you intended.  Please forgive us and open the eyes of your sons and daughters to truly start experiencing this wonderful gift in the way you intended. Amen.

This post was written by April Willer, a regular contributor to the LivingItOut Bible Study.

Check out the Latest LivingItOut Podcast

The LivingItOut Podcast is released every Wednesday morning. It discusses key takeaways and principles from the weekend message. Listen to the weekly podcast in your car, during your lunch break, or any other time that works for you. You can find the latest podcast here.

Leave a Comment?

We would love to hear how the LivingItOut is making a difference in your life. Let us know how today’s post inspired, challenged, or encouraged you by leaving a comment here.

Want to be a part of the LivingItOut team?

We are always looking for people who are passionate about writing and proofing to serve on the LivingItOut team. If you are interested, email LIO@cedarcreek.tv today!

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Seeking God’s Perspective – Better in Bed

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How often do you ask God questions? Not demanding answers, but simply to know him better?

I recently read The Story of With by Allen Arnold and was moved by a habit he describes. Before falling asleep each night, he asks God for his perspective on the day’s events. He wants to receive spiritual vision for the day’s events, and he desires God’s view on each matter.

The idea of humbly seeking God’s perspective on everyday life is incredible, yet it often seems like we limit the areas we believe God can be involved in—as though there’s a list of topics the church can and can’t discuss. High on that list is sex. Despite dominating our media and being leveraged to increase profits, we often feel uncomfortable about including God in that conversation.

I’m guessing there were a wide array of reactions to the announcement of our new series Better in Bed. Some felt awkward, excited, or concerned. Personally, my first thought was about how uncomfortable this was going to be for me as a single, young adult.

If we flip through the Bible, however, we see that God created sex, and he gives us guidelines. He wants to have a conversation on the subject and transform our thinking whether we’re single, married, old, or young. He wants us to desire his perspective on the matter regardless of our season of life and blesses those who obey his guidelines.

Psalm 119:165
Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble.

That psalm doesn’t give us the easy way out and say “those who love your instructions that are relevant to them” or “those who love your instructions that don’t mess with their comfort zone.” It’s simply about loving God’s instructions. Period.

Knowing God’s design for sex not only helps us to make better decisions and guide others to wiser choices, it also allows us to understand God better. When we know his order for the world, we learn more deeply about his character. And knowing him more personally is the ultimate goal. The apostle Paul encourages us this way:

Colossians 3:10
Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.

My hope for you as we continue this series is that you’ll set aside the thoughts and feelings swirling around your mind about this subject matter. Be open to knowing your Creator and becoming like him as you seek his perspective. Whatever stage of life you’re in, God wants to speak to you. Are you listening?

Questions:
Do you desire God’s perspective on every area of your life? Where do you need to surrender more to him? Are you listening to what God wants to teach you?

Next Steps:
Take time to pray and ask God to reveal the areas of your life where you need his perspective. Consider implementing the habit of asking God to give you spiritual vision about the events of each day.

Prayer:
Dear Lord, please give me a heart that’s open to your perspective. Help me to set aside my own opinions and feelings as we learn about your design for sex. Allow me to know you better and become more like you. In Jesus’ name, amen.

This post was written by Sarah Pagel, a regular contributor and editor or the LivingitOut.

Check out the Latest LivingItOut Podcast

The LivingItOut Podcast is released every Wednesday morning. It discusses key takeaways and principles from the weekend message. Listen to the weekly podcast in your car, during your lunch break, or any other time that works for you. You can find the latest podcast here.

Leave a Comment?

We would love to hear how the LivingItOut is making a difference in your life. Let us know how today’s post inspired, challenged, or encouraged you by leaving a comment here.

Want to be a part of the LivingItOut team?

We are always looking for people who are passionate about writing and proofing to serve on the LivingItOut team. If you are interested, email LIO@cedarcreek.tv today!

Printable version of this week’s LIO study:

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More Resources

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