Last weekend, we talked about the heat between the sheets. When it comes to fanning the flames in the bedroom, it all comes down to our desires.
Like flames, our desires can be dangerous if they get out of control, but that doesn’t mean they are bad. It means we need to know how to understand them. When we understand them, we better know how to manage them and when to act on them.
This is why Lead Pastor Ben Snyder instructed us to “know your libido.” Our libido is simply our sexual desires. It is often called our sex drive or described as our appetite for sex.
There are many stereotypes attributed to people’s sex drives, and perhaps the most persistent stereotype says that men think about sex every seven seconds. These stereotypes and ones like it are not helpful, though, because they can cause us to place expectations on our spouses that simply are not correct.
Instead, we should try to know their libidos. Ben Snyder shared two types of libidos this weekend that can help us better understand ourselves and our spouses. These two types of libido are spontaneous and responsive.
The spontaneous libido is like a light switch. With little effort, a simple flick turns on the lights. Similarly, those with a spontaneous libido need little effort to be in the mood and ready for sex.
The responsive libido is more like a slow dimmer switch that gradually turns on the light, and it can take a little more effort and time to turn it on. Those with a responsive libido might not be in the mood for sex at first, but they will be as they are lovingly engaged throughout the day.
If you want to be better in bed, it will be helpful to know your libido and know your spouse’s libido. By knowing your libidos, you will be able to manage your desires, avoid frustrations, and know when you are each ready for sex.
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
Genesis 4:1 (ESV)
Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.”
What type of libido do you have? What type of libido does your spouse have?
How can the above answers help you be better in bed?
From Ben’s message, what are the risks to each type of libido?
Continue taking steps to know/yada your spouse. Share with them what type of libido you have.
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Dear God, thank you for the gift of desires. Please help me to grow and understand them better. I pray that my desires never master me and that I never bury them. Instead, teach me how and when to act on them so they can be healthy. Finally, help me know my spouse better and understand the desires you have given them. In Jesus’ name, amen.
This post was written by Ben Bockert. Ben is a proud husband and father of three beautiful daughters. He is honored to serve as the Director of the LivingItOut Bible Study.
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